My hijab

 Wherever i step people look , some look questioning, others admiring while still some others stare and give a double look؛ they may like it in their inner self and envy you , while they comment on what use does hijab have ? Many memories i have with my hijab ...although i didnot wear full hijab till i was in my mid twenties , however i wore headcover , i wont say it is hijab , when i was in my late teens , it was mainly a small scarf a bandanna in fact , and i used to wear pants and somehow long tops over them .. that was in the seventies where people rarely knew about islam and media didnot spark yet ,,, i wore it because my parents and husband preferred not because i wanted ,,, .. Wearing this small head piece as my mom thought , will help me in learning my religion and achieving better knowledge hence better fulfilments of prayers , fasting , etc...to my mom , who learned about islam at a late age made her push me towards praying and wearing hijab early, her mom was illiterate and didnot know islamic practices , and mama hung out with her christian friends , even celebrating their easter and attending church services for good friday ,,, so mama really enjoyed and wanted badly to learn about islam and she found a good educated mother in law ready to help ! After marriage mama wore a head scraf and learned how to pray , but still after the lebanese civil war she attended special islamic literacy lectures for adults that were held regularly in the Azhar ,, and from here she started her new life . As for me i kept putting the bandanna head cover because it was not a scarf really , and wher i was living after marriage in iowa city all people did as sun protection , mama kept reminding me in letters and on phone to wear proper decemt clothes to fix my head cover , when in the same time my husband told me to take it off if i donot want ! Till one day i go a call from international students office that if i can arrange a meeting with a professor who is interested in islam , an appointment wa set and he came to my house to visit , felt embarrased i could not answer many of his questions , he knew more than i did , sice then i felt pity for myself , this stranger wanted to learn badly about my religion , he felt i have a treasure, and i never gave it a minute to look at it and learn about it , so i set a goal to learn at least to be able to answer someone , if not for my life and sake , and since en i started to dress better and decided to learn and read books ! I managed to fix my head scarf , and i improved my way ofdressing , i used to put on some elbow length sweaters so i shifted to long sleeves , i started to wear dresses long dresses or long tops over my jeans , i started to attend lectures to study some Fiqh to learn about the five pillars of islam , i learned many truths and i learned , and noticed and felt that there is a war against islam and muslims ,,, i learned islam gave women many rights but people didnot care to give them to muslim women , i learned that in islam men and women are equally rewarded and equally punished for any deed or fault , there are no differentiation between males and females , on the contrary women were given more rights but no one cared to abide .islam was being misconcepted or mishandled and mispracticed by many muslims , thats why people ignorant about islam feel it is a faulty religion .. In fact Islam is a way of life , it is life ... I fixed my headscarf better and wore a jilbab and i felt pride in my dress code .. For the sake of this code i improved many of my behaviours , stopped backtalking, treated people as i like to be treated, obeyed my parents more willingly and more happily, cared better for my husband and children , tried to be a better person , and did my best to encourage my family to be a super islamic family because this is islam , of course i can still be better woman and i am trying my best and so is my family and my greater family , we are all working to raise better kids , who are proud to be muslims and who abide by islamic doctrines as possible as can be , helpful to others .. Hijab in fact improved my way of thinking and my way of being in a society ,, hijab was really a good step to reach out for all, and it proved that hijab is a cover for head but it is an openness of mind and relations ,, May Allah guide us to what is best for the Ummah .