before november ends
i havenot written so i said i will just scribble some thing better than none
my parents both got sick this month bas alhamdulillah htey are feeling better now i want to complete writing about my girls but it takes time i have no house help for this year so house work plus ironing plus tutoring jaimie bas alhamdulillah i love my work plus the big state of what is going to happen in lebanon the assasination of pierre jemayel and the situation makes one watch news all or most of the time a virus on the comp. makes u tudab-dibi ur files and rearrange and sort them ok now i will stop writing i need to go and see what jaimie has to study for tomorrow
um jamil
Monday, November 27, 2006
Monday, October 09, 2006
in october
it has been days and i didnot get the chance to write
busy as usual it doenot seem that way but it is. In Ramadan i am not as free plus i dont get teh chance to sit on the pc the girls as usual sticking to it , jaimies school started on saturday oct 7 he wa sad when i left him he wiped some tears ran down and then i left but afterwards he was fine -as he said .. i dont kow why i keep forgetting how to sign in hopefully i will not forget any more
bayan registered her courses she is my youngest girl to attend the univ this yr she decided at last on communication arts
mama came back from gazza today the weather seems fine for her but still they may go back on next saturday
hajj deeb dies yesterday well he is may dads cousin but he has arosary that is dated 100 yrs ago it was for my dads grandmother kanum shatila i know this post is just weird stuff but i will write hope fully about May my second child in days in shallah .It is getting late i want to go to bed and call niam first -who is niam -well my daughter the producer in Qatar , it is ten past ten now so i better be going
busy as usual it doenot seem that way but it is. In Ramadan i am not as free plus i dont get teh chance to sit on the pc the girls as usual sticking to it , jaimies school started on saturday oct 7 he wa sad when i left him he wiped some tears ran down and then i left but afterwards he was fine -as he said .. i dont kow why i keep forgetting how to sign in hopefully i will not forget any more
bayan registered her courses she is my youngest girl to attend the univ this yr she decided at last on communication arts
mama came back from gazza today the weather seems fine for her but still they may go back on next saturday
hajj deeb dies yesterday well he is may dads cousin but he has arosary that is dated 100 yrs ago it was for my dads grandmother kanum shatila i know this post is just weird stuff but i will write hope fully about May my second child in days in shallah .It is getting late i want to go to bed and call niam first -who is niam -well my daughter the producer in Qatar , it is ten past ten now so i better be going
Friday, September 15, 2006
me and my girls
i had seven girls ...one is deceased and six are alive .. i tried as hard as i could to raise them as should be, i failed in some aspects and hope i got it right in others .Well god knows that i tried at least ...still i worry about jaimie the youngest son ...i tried as much as i can to be in their shoes for each problem but still we had some misunderstandings but this is llife when i was their age probably i was dumb i didnot think the way they did or probably because of the different world these days, as Imam ali puts it "our children are born for their days not ours " everyhting is different and so is the way of thinking ..but stil i believe if one would learn from others mistakes then there will be no mistakes !
. lets start with Heba
...born on dec 2 1974
she was my first born a young girl who i remember really lived all her life in -i dont know what to call - my first experience she was!!! when i had her i went to the hospital 24 hours in advance i was afraid to deliver on the way because our house was on the otherside of the city and if a train crosses i would be caught in for more than 1/2 an hour so off to the hospital and i heard the doctor tell the nurse keep her we will discharge her tomorrow ..but then i delivered her the next day , any way when i had her in the hospital her dad was in the 2 floor in the hospital too he had emergency appendicitis so we took her out of the hospital in my nightgown and we went shopping the two of us carrying his wound and it was very cold in wichita kansas then ... then the war broke out heavier in lebanon we came to visit family and on each trip she would have ear infection then i had to work so we can earn more money for our living , the money from lebanon - from abeds scholarship was not arriving becsue of war- so i had to work as a paper BOY carrier and she had to stay home by herself since Abed went with me in the car most of the time and i go on the walking route .. then i quitted after one yr and babysat for the twin Scott and Robin Schillie in iowa city they used to tease her but i tried as much as i can to manange till i stopped after 1 1/2 yrs of babysitting
.. she went to nursury school in iowa we were proud of her but still we didnot give her all she wanted becasue we didnot want to raise her to be like american kids ,she wanted parties , christmas tree , easter rabbits, valentines etc all these we tried to tell her they are not for us but u know kids still want to be like their friend this made us more sure that we dont want to stay there even if the war is in our country ..
she was bright and smart at achool always the first .. but she was sick most of the times adenoids , ear in fections ear tubes till she was eight she had purpura and then she had splenectomy .. we took her to umra during the war she was scared like other kids ... then in june 1984 in ramadan the 17th day she had this brain hemmorahge and she died 4 days later .. we were very sad but still i am happy for her becsue i am sure in shallah she is in Jannah i hope god will let us in with her ...i feel that i was harsh with her i always insisited on her not to eat fatty foods so she doesnot get fat -becasue she used to take steroids - i always wanted her to be the first in school so she will learn and work in case she didnot get married -becasue she is sick- i didnot want her to live dependent on others .. it never occured to me that she may die before me .. a mother never expects that her daughter will pass before her- Even though my dreams tell me that something will happen but i thought to me , we can only but thank Allah the all knowing- it was before Eid al fitr her clothes were ready but i told her to sew the buttons just before Eid so she will not get to put it on before Eid she was so patient she took her medications, well now that she is in heaven i thank Allah for all the patience he gave me but still i got sick after her death probably till this day Ramadan is coming soon in September this year she has been absent for 22 yrs now . how time passes by .. did I really have Heba or was it just a dream?? life is all but a dream ...
well later i will staart about May my second born insahllah
. lets start with Heba
...born on dec 2 1974
she was my first born a young girl who i remember really lived all her life in -i dont know what to call - my first experience she was!!! when i had her i went to the hospital 24 hours in advance i was afraid to deliver on the way because our house was on the otherside of the city and if a train crosses i would be caught in for more than 1/2 an hour so off to the hospital and i heard the doctor tell the nurse keep her we will discharge her tomorrow ..but then i delivered her the next day , any way when i had her in the hospital her dad was in the 2 floor in the hospital too he had emergency appendicitis so we took her out of the hospital in my nightgown and we went shopping the two of us carrying his wound and it was very cold in wichita kansas then ... then the war broke out heavier in lebanon we came to visit family and on each trip she would have ear infection then i had to work so we can earn more money for our living , the money from lebanon - from abeds scholarship was not arriving becsue of war- so i had to work as a paper BOY carrier and she had to stay home by herself since Abed went with me in the car most of the time and i go on the walking route .. then i quitted after one yr and babysat for the twin Scott and Robin Schillie in iowa city they used to tease her but i tried as much as i can to manange till i stopped after 1 1/2 yrs of babysitting
.. she went to nursury school in iowa we were proud of her but still we didnot give her all she wanted becasue we didnot want to raise her to be like american kids ,she wanted parties , christmas tree , easter rabbits, valentines etc all these we tried to tell her they are not for us but u know kids still want to be like their friend this made us more sure that we dont want to stay there even if the war is in our country ..
she was bright and smart at achool always the first .. but she was sick most of the times adenoids , ear in fections ear tubes till she was eight she had purpura and then she had splenectomy .. we took her to umra during the war she was scared like other kids ... then in june 1984 in ramadan the 17th day she had this brain hemmorahge and she died 4 days later .. we were very sad but still i am happy for her becsue i am sure in shallah she is in Jannah i hope god will let us in with her ...i feel that i was harsh with her i always insisited on her not to eat fatty foods so she doesnot get fat -becasue she used to take steroids - i always wanted her to be the first in school so she will learn and work in case she didnot get married -becasue she is sick- i didnot want her to live dependent on others .. it never occured to me that she may die before me .. a mother never expects that her daughter will pass before her- Even though my dreams tell me that something will happen but i thought to me , we can only but thank Allah the all knowing- it was before Eid al fitr her clothes were ready but i told her to sew the buttons just before Eid so she will not get to put it on before Eid she was so patient she took her medications, well now that she is in heaven i thank Allah for all the patience he gave me but still i got sick after her death probably till this day Ramadan is coming soon in September this year she has been absent for 22 yrs now . how time passes by .. did I really have Heba or was it just a dream?? life is all but a dream ...
well later i will staart about May my second born insahllah
fajr prayers
assalmu alaikum;
i wrote my post in gazah in arabic but i guess i didnot know how to post it or i cant so i said i would try to rewrite it in english
fajr prayer on time is the most important thing that i hope my children and family keep up ; many hadiths from the prophet tell us the importance of this prayer though it is hard since u will be in the deepst sleep in at dawn but it makes one feel that he really is in gods keepsake i love the hadith that says " man salla salat assubh fahwa fi thimat Allah...." of course i didnot use to pray fajr "hader" on time so i thank god that my girls are way much better than me and i do hope they keep up .. i started to pray fajr after my daughter got sick and i had to wake up nights to give her medications and check on her ... then i remembered how i used to wake up before dawn to deliver papers to subscribers when we were living in the states to earn enoigh money to make our living ; all this made me feel and be sure that if one needs something urgently he would do wonders to get it so i tried hard to get over my self and start to wake up regular for fajr and i would always ask god to help me keep up " hatta alqahu wa huwa anni raden" i dont like to mingle arabic and english letters and sounds but this thing needs to be written in arabic but any how its ok ....
when the girls were young i used to insisit that we pray to gether but now they are all old enough i try to let them wake up on their own, they do it hardly, and i check on them but still they need more effort to go on but i am still happy they are better than me when i was their age ...
i wrote my post in gazah in arabic but i guess i didnot know how to post it or i cant so i said i would try to rewrite it in english
fajr prayer on time is the most important thing that i hope my children and family keep up ; many hadiths from the prophet tell us the importance of this prayer though it is hard since u will be in the deepst sleep in at dawn but it makes one feel that he really is in gods keepsake i love the hadith that says " man salla salat assubh fahwa fi thimat Allah...." of course i didnot use to pray fajr "hader" on time so i thank god that my girls are way much better than me and i do hope they keep up .. i started to pray fajr after my daughter got sick and i had to wake up nights to give her medications and check on her ... then i remembered how i used to wake up before dawn to deliver papers to subscribers when we were living in the states to earn enoigh money to make our living ; all this made me feel and be sure that if one needs something urgently he would do wonders to get it so i tried hard to get over my self and start to wake up regular for fajr and i would always ask god to help me keep up " hatta alqahu wa huwa anni raden" i dont like to mingle arabic and english letters and sounds but this thing needs to be written in arabic but any how its ok ....
when the girls were young i used to insisit that we pray to gether but now they are all old enough i try to let them wake up on their own, they do it hardly, and i check on them but still they need more effort to go on but i am still happy they are better than me when i was their age ...
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
the first page
salamz
my first post
i read my daughters and said why dont i create one , though i am not a good writer and dont have a lot of time to sit at the comp. at this age but i will start in shallah
today is sept 5 this wk we came down from gazah planning to start to get ready for the fall first i have to make end of summer cleaning -oh what summer - and to celebratre the coming of ramadan hope we live to fast and may Allah the almighty give us strength and faith to be as we ought to ..i always remember things and wish i could jot it down so may be now i will be able ....
my first post
i read my daughters and said why dont i create one , though i am not a good writer and dont have a lot of time to sit at the comp. at this age but i will start in shallah
today is sept 5 this wk we came down from gazah planning to start to get ready for the fall first i have to make end of summer cleaning -oh what summer - and to celebratre the coming of ramadan hope we live to fast and may Allah the almighty give us strength and faith to be as we ought to ..i always remember things and wish i could jot it down so may be now i will be able ....
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